Short Funny Love Poems For Him & Her That Rhyme

Cute funny love poems to express your romantic emotions in a cheerful, humorous manner. Share these funny love poems with your girlfriend or boyfriend and enjoy your love relation.

Funny Love Poems For Her

All About Girls

Girls!
They protect you!
Mind you, correct you!
In ways you never thought of,
They enslave you, caress you!

You do whatever they say,
Sometimes they confuse you!
Right then it gets real bad,
Misconceptions they kill you!

You give them all,
You’re taken to the mall,
Spend all your money,
Until you fall!

They flirt, tiny skirts!
Eyes blink, you’re alert!
Black magic, their mastered skill!
New guys like contraception pills!

Some naughty, some innocent,
What lies deep inside,
Is the killer sense!
Oh they messed me up!

Damn I now trust this bub,
Sitting here golden cheers!
Girls! Girls! Girls!

@Fiazio
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My One-Eyed Love

I’ve fallen in love- I don’t know why
I’ve fallen in love with a girl with one eye.

I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me

She’s charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you’d expect from a girl who’s monocular.

Of eyes – at the moment – she hasn’t full quota
But that doesn’t change things for me one iota.

It must be quite difficult if you’re bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.

But she’s made up her mind. She’s made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.

She’ll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she’ll see me in church.

I’ll marry my true love who’s gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.

© Andrew Jefferson
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Stuck On You

You’re sucrose, you’re glucose,
You’re fructose and more,
From your head to your feet…
Which are stuck to the floor.

You’re Hershey’s, you’re Snickers,
You’re sweet English Toffee.
If you spit in my cup,
You’ll just sweeten my coffee.

I love you so much
That I’m getting frenetic,
But I can’t even kiss you,
’cause I’m diabetic.

© Kenneth J. Miller
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Honey, if you’ll please recall

Honey, if you’ll please recall,
The day we met I was not smooth at all,
So please give me another chance right now,
To hit on you again and make you say wow!

I need a map because I’m lost in your eyes,
I must have won a contest and you must be my prize!
Can I take a picture of you to show Santa what I want?
You look so delicious you must own a restaurant!

Look at you with all those curves and me with no brakes,
I’ve gotta ask do you want some fries with those shakes.
Roses are red and violets are blue,
Be my Cinderella, because the shoe fits you.

I must be dead, cuz I see an angel right now,
You’re so gorgeous you should take a bow.
Oops, I lost my phone number, could I have yours?
So you’re the reason for all of those wars!

Apart from being beautiful, what do you do for a living?
Would you like to be a queen, so I can be your king?
I was taught to pursue my dreams, so I’m gonna chase you, okay?
Your feet must hurt from running around in my mind all day.

I’m sorry I forgot all these pick-up lines when we first met,
But if you’ll recall that’s cuz of all my drool and sweat!
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Nothin Like A Fifth Grade Crush

There’s nothin like a fifth grade crush.
When you see that girl it’s such a rush.

She’s playin hop-scotch with her two best friends
Her hair flowin so wild in the crisp autumn wind.

She is like an angel in your eye
Wherever she walks the sun will shine.

Her beauty is that of the most pleasant flower
Just to have one minute with her shall seem like a hour.

So go talk to her you coward,
is what you say in your mind, but all you can do is just rub your eyes.

This girl you see has got you in a trance
Your head all caught up in this puppy love romance.

So who knows just go and give it a chance.
You never know what she might think of you so just walk up to her and play it cool.

But all you can feel is the sweat dripping from your hands,
your getting all nervous, your doomed!

You have no plan!
So as you gather your courage and your chest begins to swell,

Ring! Ring! Ring!
Thank you Jesus for they have rang the bell.

© Aaron M. Delao
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A Night With My Lady

Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night
I pick her up and hold her steady
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

I run one hand up her long neck
Just touching her makes me euphoric
Across her body, my right hand goes
I’ve been practicing, believe me, it shows.

Her body glistens in the light
I urge to play with her all night.
I pick her up and hold her steady,
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

Another deep breath, the tension mounts.
Have to stay focused, every moment counts.
I am ready; let’s get movin’.
Here it goes, we both start groovin’.

Her body glistens in the light.
I urge to play with her all night.
I pick her up and hold her steady,
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

I start out slow to get in the swing.
As I do, she starts to sing.
The sounds and feelings grow more immense.
The movements become more intense.

Her body glistens in the light.
I urge to play with her all night.
I pick her up and hold her steady.
Take a deep breath, we both are ready.

She screams and screams, while I am gropin’.
My heart stops as I see the door open.
My mom walks in and with a frown
Says, “Your guitar is too loud, please turn it down.”

© Jared M. Stein
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Funny Love Poems For Him

Proper Treatment

I thought love had it in for me,
it didn’t treat me nice.
It kicked my butt and ran me down
and crushed me in its vice.
Love would do me in, I knew.
What saved me from that fate?
You came into my life, of course,
and now love treats me great!

@Susanna Rose
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Puberty Love Poem

Last year I thought that you were icky as I ate my glue,
But this year I can see that I have greatly misjudged you.
Your retainer gleams with moonlight beams when you smile in my direction.
I can see through greasy hair that we have a connection.

My armpit hair is growing just as fast as our romance,
And now that I’m like 5 foot 5 I think I have a chance.
There’s something about my love for you that others just don’t get.
The things I like about you are as many as my zits.

I’ve not seen you for a while now and I hope you’re doing well,
Because I think my armpits have a very lonely smell.
If I were left without you I would have a heart attack,
So let me serenade you with this song from Nickleback.

You want to play Diablo with me? I hope you won’t mind.
I think you would be purple, you’re a legendary find.
I want to see your visage more than any other faces,
‘Cause like my Warcraft druid, you have charmed me with your graces.

You’re beautiful, you’re wonderful, you make my heart go boom,
Just like the can of Axe I unleashed upon this room.
I know that you will love me, and I know it will be neat,
Because my shampoo label says, “Rinse, attract, repeat.”

Though I may be awkward, this poem may be weird,
And my good side may be tough to see through my patchy beard,
My mind is going crazy, but one thing is true:
My random hormones have paired me with you.

© Mitch Jones
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Men

They do it without realizing,
They don’t really have a clue,
Reading between the lines,
Is something they just can’t do.

When there is an argument,
They think they’re always right,
No matter what we say or do,
They didn’t start the fight.

They blame it on our hormones,
And never take the rap,
If they call us moody bitches,
Then they get a slap.

© Jessica Miles
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I Can’t Help Myself

When I see you standing there… Did you even notice me?
I sit in class and you’re on my mind… But you’re in that class.
At lunch I stand in the line and wait with friends… But you’re in the same line.

I was going to a concert with my friends… But it’s your concert.
We are in the front row… You come out on stage.
I sing along with your lyrics… You stop and stare at me.

I stop singing and look in your eyes… You tell them to stop the track.
You make the guard take me on stage… I stand there and look like a lost puppy.
You take me by the hand and start to sing… I stare in your eyes.

You pull me closer… I get a little scared.
I start to lean in… So do you.
We Kiss and I get tingles in my whole body… We live happily ever after!

© Kari Johnson
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I love you so truly

I love you so truly,
I love you so fine,
Please be with me always,
Please forever be mine.

Without you I’m empty,
There’s a deep void I feel,
It’s nagging and persistent,
A feeling only you can heal.

I need you my sweetheart,
I can’t live without you dear,
Because when your gone,
There’s no food to eat here!
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I know you got a thing for me

I know you got a thing for me,
But there’s a few things I first must say.

If you really are interested in me,
Then you must know these things today.

I’m not the perfect girl,
I will annoy and anger you,

I’ll nitpick and complain,
Until my face turns blue.

I may yell and shout a lot,
And I’ll carry on for a while.

I’ll tell you to shut up sometimes,
And to wipe away that smile.

I may whine and kick and scream,
If I don’t get my way.

And remind you that you’re useless,
And even ask you if you’re gay.

I’ll tell you not to hang out with friends,
And forbid you from staying out late.

You’ll never get to hold the remote,
And I’ll do all sorts of things you hate.

Don’t forget you’ll have to go shopping,
And wait for me for hours,

I’ll make you do the laundry,
And require you to buy me flowers.

But don’t you worry, don’t you fear,
You already know I’m a catch by now,

I just wanted to remind you, honey,
I’ll put up with you somehow.
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